Two women in a diner spoke about their pain
Each was sure that her aches were worse
Their tales of suffering, they could not wait to tell
About their multitude of diseases, they loved to converse
One woman told the other as she took a mouthful of pie
That her suffering was more than all the rest
After yelling at the waiter, the other retorted that she was more ill
And she said her pain could put all other pain to the test
They were involved in this competition of woe
The more pitiful life would get the top prize
Complaining and moaning was the sure road to success
Unfortunately, the real winner is the one who eventually dies
Before you enter the competition of woe
Take stock of your life and the good it contains
There must be something that gets you breathing in the morning
It cannot be just about new ways to complain
I had to wonder if these women ever laugh
Had they lost their capacity to attempt a smile?
I was there for an hour, and I had to think
Was it only the complaining that made their life worthwhile?
So, to the two ladies in the diner, I say thank you
For I came there to be alone and in self-pity to wallow
But your bitterness showed me a horrible glimpse into the future
And I’ll be damned if your path is one I choose to follow
Yes, there will be aches and pains
There will be times of loneliness and despair
But I will not succumb to the competition of woe
It will be the good in my life that I will long to share